Home » Annoyances » Please Refrain from Eating Carrots

Please Refrain from Eating Carrots

Today’s Daily Prompt is to “embrace the ick.” Meaning, take something that makes my skin crawl and tell you all the wonderful things about it instead. We’ll call it forced positivity.

I have a lot of pet pieves but not many phobias. Right now, my biggest pet pieve is hearing noises that come from the mouth or nose. Specifically, hearing other people chew or sneeze too loud. I stress too loud because I think it’s possible to do these things quietly and some people just make no attempt to control them. Please don’t eat carrots in my presence; they are the loudest thing you can possibly eat. I’ve heard recently this issue is a real disorder called Misphonia. Seems legit.

**Sigh**

I’ll start with listening to other people chew and try to make that sound awesome. If you hear somebody chew it means they have food on the table. It also means they still have teeth, or at least well fitting dentures. As for carrots, the defeaning crunch is really a good thing because you are now assured they are eating a very fresh and crisp carrot, which is delightful for the tastebuds. Carrots, specifically, are also great nutritionally. Chips, on the other hand, are not nutritious but obviously satisfy a craving for crunchy food that makes the soul happy. And happy people make my life easier.

To promote obnoxious sneezing, I will have to turn to what I learned in biological anthropology. Sneezing is an awesome evolutionary adaptation that provides a defense mechanism for expelling irritants in order for us to feel better. Got pollen allergies? Some of the pollen trapped in your nose hairs (ew) shoots out your nose when you sneeze, providing a little relief. Plus, I think sneezing feels kind of cool. I love the sneezing sensation and the relief it gives me. Plus, everytime I step out into bright light I sneeze. It’s called the Photic Sneeze Reflex, but from now on I’ll call it the Bonus Sneeze.

Have I convinced you that mouth noises and overly obnoxious sneezes are awesome?! Yeah, me either.

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12 thoughts on “Please Refrain from Eating Carrots

  1. I loved it. Short and funny and too the point. Personally, I don’t like loud yawns. Not grossed out about them, just find it annoying that one must growl like a bear to get it out. I enjoyed your post.

    • Yes! That’s another one that bothers me too! I think it’s ALL bodily noises that annoy me. I know it’s ridiculous because nobody can help doing those functions, I just wish people would do them at a more appropriate level. Thanks for reading!

  2. Ha, I was on an 6 hour flight and brought some dried fruit and baby carrots to snack on. The guy next to me asked, not particularly politely, if I would refrain from eating them. I suggested that perhaps he needed to change seats… WTF!

    • I work in a doctor’s office and the nurse a few cubicles over eats carrots all the time. I’m glad you brought healthy snacks on your flight. I would never ask you to not eat them. I’d just suffer in silence and make frequent trips to the bathroom :)

  3. I loved it, too. Well, actually you convinced me that although it could be an annoying sound it means something positive is going with the person doing it ;o). I like this point of view. I do not like when people caugh close to me. I always ALWAYS think “Oh no! Now I will have a flu!”, but… usually I do not ;o).

    • I’m trying to view things more positively lately. This was a good exercise in doing exactly that. I’m sure my boyfriend will appreciate if I stop glaring at him everytime he sneezes. Oh my word, the lady in the cubicle behind me just sneezed loudly. Twice. I have to go before I punch the keyboard lol.

  4. loved this. i hate it when people sneeze when they’re in the same room as me. i feel like i’m gonna catch whatever it is that they have eww

  5. Pingback: Daily Prompt: Embrace the Ick « The Curse Of The Single Parent

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