Today’s Daily Prompt is to “embrace the ick.” Meaning, take something that makes my skin crawl and tell you all the wonderful things about it instead. We’ll call it forced positivity.
I have a lot of pet pieves but not many phobias. Right now, my biggest pet pieve is hearing noises that come from the mouth or nose. Specifically, hearing other people chew or sneeze too loud. I stress too loud because I think it’s possible to do these things quietly and some people just make no attempt to control them. Please don’t eat carrots in my presence; they are the loudest thing you can possibly eat. I’ve heard recently this issue is a real disorder called Misphonia. Seems legit.
I’ll start with listening to other people chew and try to make that sound awesome. If you hear somebody chew it means they have food on the table. It also means they still have teeth, or at least well fitting dentures. As for carrots, the defeaning crunch is really a good thing because you are now assured they are eating a very fresh and crisp carrot, which is delightful for the tastebuds. Carrots, specifically, are also great nutritionally. Chips, on the other hand, are not nutritious but obviously satisfy a craving for crunchy food that makes the soul happy. And happy people make my life easier.
To promote obnoxious sneezing, I will have to turn to what I learned in biological anthropology. Sneezing is an awesome evolutionary adaptation that provides a defense mechanism for expelling irritants in order for us to feel better. Got pollen allergies? Some of the pollen trapped in your nose hairs (ew) shoots out your nose when you sneeze, providing a little relief. Plus, I think sneezing feels kind of cool. I love the sneezing sensation and the relief it gives me. Plus, everytime I step out into bright light I sneeze. It’s called the Photic Sneeze Reflex, but from now on I’ll call it the Bonus Sneeze.
Have I convinced you that mouth noises and overly obnoxious sneezes are awesome?! Yeah, me either.